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Episode 73

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Published on:

23rd Oct 2026

Quick Spoon: Don't let every outcome define you

What happens when you work hard towards something and don't get the outcome you hoped for?

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Chris Rodgers-Wilson reflects on the experience of watching others get opportunities you'd have liked yourself. It's something that can happen at any level, and it's easy to start measuring yourself against other people's success.

I pick up on an important point from Chris: outcomes depend on lots of factors, and not all of them are within our control. Yet when we don't get the role, promotion or recognition we wanted, it's easy to turn that disappointment into a judgement about ourselves.

Here's something to try:

Think about a recent disappointment at work.

What have you made it mean about yourself? And what else might be true?

You can take your work seriously without treating every outcome as a verdict on your worth.

Listen to the full episode with Chris - The stories we dance through - wherever you get your podcasts.

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.

Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.

In collaboration with Contextual Consulting I'm running an ACT in the Workplace: Train the Trainer Programme in February 2027. If you're interested in bringing practical evidence-based behavioral science to organizations, this course will equip you to work with groups, understand the stance of the ACT facilitator, and help make a difference to wellbeing in the workplace - then please check out all the details here. The early bird prices run until 5 November and if you use the code WORK20 - you'll receive an extra 20% discount.

Here's the People Soup Website.

And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.

Visit Ross' Website.

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People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.

Transcript
Chris:

And then inevitably, like one of the group would get an opportunity here

Chris:

or there, and It'd be hard not to measure yourself against that when I guess what

Chris:

I learnt quite quickly is that no matter what rank you are, that is an experience

Chris:

that everyone has, where something, a role will come along that you'd like to do and

Chris:

you don't get it, and there's a lot of factors at play there, and you have to,

Chris:

hang on to your sense of self and, and keep going and not let that get you down.

Ross:

Hi there, and welcome to People Soup Quick Spoon, real conversations

Ross:

about work, leadership, and being human.

Ross:

I'm Ross McIntosh, and here's your Quick Spoon I think there's something

Ross:

important in what Chris says here.

Ross:

When you're working hard towards something, it's easy to start

Ross:

measuring yourself by the outcomes.

Ross:

Did you get the role?

Ross:

The promotion?

Ross:

The recognition you were hoping for?

Ross:

And when the answer is no, it can start to feel as though the

Ross:

results say something about you.

Ross:

But outcomes depend on a lot of things.

Ross:

Not all of them are within your control.

Ross:

So here's something to try.

Ross:

Think about a recent disappointment at work.

Ross:

What have you made it mean about yourself?

Ross:

And what else might be true?

Ross:

you can take your work seriously without treating every outcome

Ross:

as a verdict on your worth.

Ross:

That's your Quick Spoon.

Ross:

Until next time, take care.

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About the Podcast

People Soup
Real conversations about work, leadership and being human.
Grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

The name People Soup comes from a quote by Abraham Maslow:

"A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting."

I've always loved that idea because creativity isn't confined to art. It shows up in how we live, work, lead and relate to one another.

Work often feels like a soup: a rich, sometimes bewildering mix of people, personalities, decisions, pressures, relationships and unexpected challenges. Every day we're trying to make sense of the ingredients in front of us.

Behavioural science doesn't make work simple, but it does give us better ways of responding to complexity. It offers practical ideas, evidence-based tools and skills that help us respond more effectively—to ourselves, to other people and to the situations we face.

That's what People Soup is all about.

Whether it's a conversation with a guest or a short solo episode, People Soup explores how behavioural science—and particularly Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)—can help us lead and work with greater intention, developing the psychological flexibility and practical wisdom to navigate whatever life throws our way.

About your host

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Ross McIntosh

I'm Ross McIntosh, a business psychologist, coach and facilitator, with over 30 years' experience helping people thrive at work.

People Soup grew from a simple belief: work is an important part of life, but it doesn't have to come at the expense of our wellbeing, our relationships or our values.

Each episode explores the realities of work, leadership and being human through the lens of behavioural science. Sometimes that's a conversation with an inspiring guest. Sometimes it's a short "Quick Spoon" offering a practical idea you can put into practice straight away.

My work is grounded in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), an evidence-based approach that helps people develop psychological flexibility: the ability to stay purposeful, adaptable and effective, even when life gets messy.

Whether you're leading a team, supporting others, or simply trying to navigate the pressures of modern work, my hope is that People Soup gives you practical tools, fresh perspectives and the confidence to take your next meaningful step.

A few things about me
Chartered Fellow of the CIPD.
Fellow of the Association for Coaching.
Research collaborator with City St George's, University of London.
Speaker, facilitator and leadership development consultant.
Founder and Host of the People Soup podcast.

When I'm not recording the podcast or working with clients, you'll usually find me reading, cycling, improving my Spanish, or enjoying life in southern Spain with my husband.