Episode 72

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Published on:

20th Oct 2026

The stories we dance through with Chris Rodgers-Wilson

What happens when the work that has shaped your identity begins to change? How do you keep hold of a sense of self in a world built around performance, comparison and high expectations? And how do we support each other when life brings experiences that are difficult to talk about at work?

In this episode of People Soup, I'm joined by Chris Rodgers-Wilson, who spent much of his working life as a professional ballet dancer, performing with Birmingham Royal Ballet and The Australian Ballet. These days, his work brings together psychology, coaching and supporting dancers as they navigate their careers and life beyond the stage.

Chris takes us back to the moment a five-year-old boy watched Romeo and Juliet on VHS and was completely transported by the dancing, storytelling and music. That early fascination eventually took him to the Royal Ballet School in London and a career on stage.

But this conversation goes well beyond ballet.

We explore the pressures of high performance, the challenge of comparing ourselves with others, and the difficulty of holding on to our sense of self when we don't get the opportunities we hoped for. Chris reflects on the sudden loss of his mum, the experience of grieving while continuing to perform, and the extraordinary importance of the people who saw him, trusted him and helped him through.

We also talk about perfectionism, knowing when it's time to move on, and how a moment on stage as Romeo helped Chris recognise that he might be ready for a new chapter.

And Chris leaves us with a thought-provoking perspective on practice and performance: what if practice isn't simply preparation for the next performance, but a daily process that shapes who we become?

In this episode, we explore:

  • Finding your calling — and what happens when you lose touch with it.
  • The pressures of high-performance environments and the trap of comparison.
  • Maintaining a sense of identity when success depends partly on other people's judgements.
  • Grief at work, and why the people around us matter so much.
  • Perfectionism, high standards and the different expectations we place on ourselves and others.
  • Recognising when you've reached a meaningful peak and are ready to move on.
  • Building a new professional identity after a major career transition.
  • Why daily practice can be about much more than preparing to perform.

Chris's takeaway

High performance isn't just about the big moment. It's about the commitment to daily practice, negotiating the challenges we face and taking steps towards how we want to show up.

About Chris Rodgers-Wilson

Chris Rodgers-Wilson is a former professional ballet dancer who performed with Birmingham Royal Ballet and The Australian Ballet. His current work combines psychology, coaching and psychometric work, alongside supporting dancers through Dancers' Career Development as they navigate personal development, education and career transitions.

Chris's song choice

Aperture by Harry Styles.

If this conversation makes you think differently about performance, identity or the people behind the work, please share it with someone who might find it useful.

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Transcript
Ross:

Hi there, and welcome to People Soup.

Ross:

Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human, grounded

Ross:

in behavioral science with practical ideas you can actually use I'm Ross

Ross:

McIntosh, and in this episode, I'm talking to Chris Rodgers Wilson.

Ross:

Chris spent much of his working life as a professional ballet dancer,

Ross:

performing with companies including the Birmingham Royal Ballet and the

Ross:

Australian Ballet These days, he brings together psychology and coaching alongside

Ross:

supporting dancers as they navigate their career and life beyond the stage.

Ross:

But this isn't simply a conversation about changing careers It's about

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the stories we tell ourselves, the pressure to perform, what happens

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when life changes us, and how we begin to imagine who we might become next.

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Chris shares some very personal reflections on ambition, perfectionism,

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and the loss of his mum, as well as the relationships that helped

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him through difficult times.

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And there's a lovely thread running through our conversation that

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takes us from a young boy watching Romeo and Juliet to a moment on

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stage that helped him recognize he might be ready for something new

Ross:

before we head to the episode, I want to scoot over to the news desk to

Ross:

tell you about a special discount.

Ross:

I'm delighted to be presenting an Act in the Workplace Train the Trainer program

Ross:

in collaboration with the good folks at Contextual Consulting in February

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next year And there's a twenty percent discount available with the code WORK20.

Ross:

That's the word WORK in capitals, followed by the figure two

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and zero without any spaces.

Ross:

If you're interested in bringing practical evidence-based behavioral science to

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organizations, this course will equip you to work with groups, understand the stance

Ross:

of the ACT facilitator, and help make a difference to wellbeing in the workplace

Ross:

You'll find the link in the show notes.

Ross:

And remember, the 20% discount is on top of the early bird rate, which ends on

Ross:

the 5th of November and now after that excitement, why not get a brew on and have

Ross:

a listen to my chat with Chris Rodgers Wilson, where I start by asking him about

Ross:

the origin story of his career in dance

Chris:

Yeah.

Chris:

So why dance?

Chris:

I guess, I mean, it was not really a conscious choice in a sense.

Chris:

Like I think a lot of professional dancers, I started dancing around the

Chris:

lounge room at home and mom and dad sort of caught wind of it and, my mom

Chris:

actually was a bit of a ballet fan.

Chris:

She'd taken dad on a few dates to the ballet, and she had a recording

Chris:

of the Royal Ballet doing Romeo and Juliet, at the Royal Opera House,

Chris:

Margot Fonteyn and Rudolf Nureyev.

Chris:

And I do sort of remember watching that as a, five-year-old I think.

Chris:

yeah, and I was just totally transported.

Chris:

I was, I was obsessed and loved I guess the dancing, but also

Chris:

the storytelling, the music.

Chris:

it was just all so intoxicating yeah, and I think from there, mom

Chris:

had the bright idea to take me down to the local ballet school.

Chris:

And yeah, I was kind of hooked from day one I think.

Chris:

I was… I wasn't interested in the sort of ballet class part of it at first, but

Chris:

I think just as soon as I had a big space to leap around in, I felt right at home.

Ross:

Oh, Chris, I love that.

Ross:

A big space to leap around in

Ross:

I love it that your mum identified this in you and gave you the

Ross:

possibility of going to classes

Chris:

Yeah, absolutely.

Chris:

I wouldn't have registered it at the time, but I'm obviously very grateful

Chris:

and, um, I mean, she was a doctor.

Chris:

She was in a totally different, world, but, I think would've made a really

Chris:

beautiful artist in a lot of ways.

Chris:

She did, sort of show a lot of interest in, in the arts and, So I'm, I'm very

Chris:

lucky that she, she had that inspired thought to send me there, and then

Chris:

it, it kinda took off from there.

Chris:

I, I danced up until sort of about 14 and then I moved to a new high

Chris:

school, where there was all manner of extracurricular activities on offer, and

Chris:

I think that sort of coincided with me reaching my teens and sort of bristling

Chris:

against the discipline of the ballet studio and getting a bit impatient

Chris:

with my ballet teachers, although I'm sure I was being more of a nightmare.

Chris:

And yeah, so I, I decided to take a break.

Chris:

So I actually stopped dancing for two years.

Chris:

must have been about 13, I think, when I stopped.

Chris:

And yeah, and just did everything on offer at school.

Chris:

Did sport, music.

Chris:

So I tried a bunch of things.

Chris:

but I guess as things like this do, I sort of had a calling back to dance, , so

Chris:

I had, I had the break for two years.

Chris:

Um, didn't see a show that whole time, didn't do a class, and then my mom

Chris:

encouraged me to come with her and dad to see the new production of Swan Lake that

Chris:

the Australian Ballet was performing.

Chris:

And, I sort of went along begrudgingly trying to be too cool for school,

Chris:

and then I just remember being in the car on the way home, and I don't

Chris:

think I would've said anything, but I just remember like silently

Chris:

crying all the way home in the car.

Chris:

'Cause I just missed it.

Chris:

I just missed that feeling.

Chris:

I think I just had this, uh, real urge to get back into it.

Chris:

So, That prompted me to go back and, and sort of start, start afresh.

Ross:

Oh, Chris, that's so evocative this… can of picture mini Chris going,

Ross:

"All right," sort of truculent teenager.

Chris:

That's it

Ross:

I'm almost doing you a favor, mom and dad, coming with you.

Chris:

Yeah.

Ross:

Oh my gosh So, you reconnected and you went back to class

Chris:

Yeah, reconnected and yeah, and from there things kind

Chris:

of snowballed quite quickly.

Chris:

I had, I had my work cut out for me and my teachers were very clear

Chris:

with me that I needed to really pull out all the stops if I wanted to,

Chris:

to try and make it, professionally.

Chris:

And I don't think I really had really thought about being a

Chris:

professional dancer, but I did know that I just wanted to do it.

Chris:

So I really, I locked down and worked really hard and then at 16, they started

Chris:

talking to me about auditioning for ballet schools, and then the following

Chris:

year they encouraged me to audition via VHS, which seems crazy now, for

Chris:

the Royal Ballet School in London.

Chris:

And yeah, and I said yes.

Chris:

We had, we, we made a tape, it got sent away, and then I found out, like, I

Chris:

guess much to the surprise of myself and my parents, that I had gotten the spot.

Chris:

and that was an opportunity I could not refuse.

Chris:

and so I, I packed up, um, sort of nearly towards the end of

Chris:

my last year at high school.

Chris:

I packed up my life and moved to London, at 17.

Chris:

So yeah, it was, it was a huge change from there.

Chris:

But then my, I guess the dance world really opened up for me from that point.

Chris:

It was like a, a major, major turning point.

Ross:

And thinking about when you reconnected with ballet at school, what

Ross:

did that mean in terms of giving up stuff?

Chris:

I mean, there was definitely some sacrifices.

Chris:

I think being a young boy I was really conscious about the perceptions

Chris:

of me being a ballet dancer and how that would fly at school.

Chris:

So I actually didn't tell a lot of people.

Chris:

I think my close friends knew, but I didn't, I kept it fairly well under wraps.

Chris:

And yeah, and I, and I did miss out on, a lot of fun on the weekends

Chris:

'cause I would be at ballet all day on Saturday, and I'd go after school.

Chris:

I mean, very common for any young ballet dancer.

Chris:

I think you, you do, give up a lot of your sort of childhood freedoms

Chris:

in other ways to, to do ballet class.

Chris:

But the rewards are, are high in dancing and yeah, so I think

Chris:

it sort of made up for it.

Chris:

But I did notice when I left to move to London, all my friends were leaving

Chris:

high school and going to university and having a mighty time and, and I

Chris:

was locking in for probably two of the hardest physical years of my life.

Chris:

So we were on a, we were on different wavelengths, which, which, at times

Chris:

was quite challenging for sure.

Ross:

Do you still have the VHS?

Chris:

I was actually thinking about it, before we, we logged on today.

Chris:

I'm sure it's somewhere, in a dusty old box.

Chris:

I should try and find it

Ross:

And that's quite a big move going round the other side

Ross:

of the world when you're 17.

Ross:

Blimey

Chris:

Yeah, it was a big shift.

Chris:

I mean, going from a couple hours of ballet at night after high school to then

Chris:

doing full days, I mean, after my first term, I think I, I flew home to Australia

Chris:

for Christmas, and I actually slept the whole way, I think, on the flight.

Chris:

I was exhausted.

Chris:

it had been a big first term as well because I finished my high school exams,

Chris:

in London, whilst I was at school, and I was, performing as an extra

Chris:

with the Royal Ballet at the time too.

Chris:

So it was really… It was all happening.

Chris:

I mean, it was just so wonderful to, to be at the school, to be surrounded

Chris:

by all of these other young, incredibly talented, hardworking dancers and,

Chris:

and a lot of other young boys as well.

Chris:

I, I was, as a lot of stories go, y- I was the only boy in my class

Chris:

at my ballet school for a time.

Chris:

So yeah, just being surrounded by all these great people and

Chris:

the proximity to the Royal Opera House, getting to see these, global

Chris:

superstar, ballet dancers, at night after school was just so inspiring.

Chris:

Yeah, I don't have the words.

Chris:

It was just… It had such an impression on me.

Ross:

so your, your first experience of dancing with a company, was

Ross:

that your role or roles as an extra with the, the Royal Ballet?

Chris:

Yeah, I mean, I don't know if we'd call it dancing.

Chris:

There was-- It was mostly, um, standing in a nice outfit

Chris:

and maybe holding a door open.

Chris:

But I mean, I was on the Royal Opera House stage, so I was just happy to be there.

Ross:

And how did it feel to be on that stage?

Chris:

Oh, it was, totally, totally surreal.

Chris:

I think, yeah, was so transported by the performances that were happening in front

Chris:

of me, and then also kind of fascinated seeing these professional dancers in their

Chris:

natural habitat and like, you know, you're sort of privy to the, the sneaky whispers

Chris:

backstage and little conversations that are happening and, and seeing people,

Chris:

you know, seeing people having fun, seeing people struggling through things.

Chris:

all the sort of fun stuff backstage that you don't get as much, um, of a sense

Chris:

of when you're sat in the audience.

Chris:

It was just, it was amazing to see that happening right in front of me

Ross:

So, so what happened once you'd graduated from

Ross:

the, the Royal Ballet School?

Chris:

yeah, so in your graduate year, at these kind of professional ballet schools,

Chris:

the pressure is on to, to find a job.

Chris:

So we'd been, looking at auditioning.

Chris:

We'd had a lot of directors coming in, and one of the privileges of being

Chris:

somewhere like the Royal Ballet School is you have directors come in from

Chris:

Europe to, to see the graduate class.

Chris:

and fortunately for me and, and three other of my classmates, we got a job

Chris:

relatively early in that graduate year with the Birmingham Royal Ballet.

Chris:

so I was really excited to get that.

Chris:

and come graduation time, I had my summer break, and then I moved up to

Chris:

Birmingham to join the company and start my life as a, as a company dancer.

Ross:

Chris, I don't know if this is possible, but is there a point when you

Ross:

started to think of yourself as a dancer?

Chris:

Yeah, it's a great question, with a difficult answer.

Chris:

I think in some ways from when I started, I felt like a dancer unconsciously,

Chris:

just, being a body in space.

Chris:

And then in other ways, I think because you have such high ambitions of the

Chris:

things you want to achieve and, how you want to be, intermittently I'd sort of

Chris:

not feel like I was ever gonna feel like I was the dancer that I wanted to be.

Chris:

I think that's kind of a classic tension that is probably, um,

Chris:

pretty common in high performance.

Ross:

Thank you.

Ross:

Very interesting.

Ross:

I've had the privilege of having a glimpse behind the scenes of some ballet

Ross:

companies in my work with, Jamie Tapper, where we've worked with several companies,

Ross:

including the Birmingham Royal Ballet.

Ross:

But I'm curious from your perspective, tell me more about the context of

Ross:

being in a ballet company including the shift of gear from being at a

Ross:

school to being in a company, finding where you fit in another new city.

Ross:

me a bit about all of that.

Chris:

Yeah.

Chris:

Well, I guess in terms of the ballet context, you know, you shift from a

Chris:

school where we were in a class of about 25, I think from memory, to a company

Chris:

of about, you know, maybe nearly 100 depending on the, how big the company is.

Chris:

So it's a big shift in the amount of people that you're dancing with every day.

Chris:

it's kinda like jumping onto a moving train as well because the way that seasons

Chris:

run in a, in a performing ballet company, there's not very many times throughout

Chris:

the year where things are quiet.

Chris:

It, they're pretty much always rehearsing or rehearsing and performing.

Chris:

so it was a real shift of gear, to use your words.

Chris:

And I guess you're adapting to a different schedule.

Chris:

you're learning so much new material all the time, in terms of choreography.

Chris:

I guess you also shift from at school you're getting a lot of feedback, from

Chris:

your teachers around how you're going and how to improve your technique,

Chris:

and artistry and also, yeah, you're just getting a lot of feedback really

Chris:

and then you join a company and you're receiving a lot of direction

Chris:

from the front of the room, but not necessarily individual feedback.

Chris:

So I think that's can be really challenging, It's a big shift to change

Chris:

from that feedback loop that's quite personal and then you being in part

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of a bigger company and especially when you're in the corps de ballet and

Chris:

you're in the group more, the, it's less likely you're gonna get individual

Chris:

feedback, just by nature of the work.

Chris:

So that, that was definitely a challenge to, to navigate,

Ross:

And did you experience it as a, as a pressurized environment?

Chris:

Yeah, for sure.

Chris:

I think it's-- I mean, there are real, there's real pressures of the, the

Chris:

schedule and the performances, and then there's also the sort of self-driven

Chris:

pressures as well of wanting to, wanting to succeed, wanting t-to work towards

Chris:

getting opportunities where you might get to do more featured work, roles

Chris:

that you've sort of dreamed of doing.

Chris:

So yeah, there, there's a lot of pressure, and I think I remember joining and it

Chris:

was an easy trap to fall into of that comparison with your colleagues that

Chris:

you joined with because you'd been in class with them for so long at school.

Chris:

And then inevitably, like one of the group would get an opportunity here or

Chris:

there, and It'd be hard not to measure yourself against that when I guess what

Chris:

I learnt quite quickly is that no matter what rank you are, that is an experience

Chris:

that everyone has, where something, a role will come along that you'd like to do and

Chris:

you don't get it, and there's a lot of factors at play there, and you have to,

Chris:

hang on to your sense of self and, and keep going and not let that get you down.

Ross:

It sounds pretty relentless.

Ross:

You described it as leaping on a moving train, and then perhaps

Ross:

you're discovering you got a part, you didn't get a part, and it's just

Ross:

kind of keeping going, keeping going.

Ross:

I don't know if you can look back and think, did you build in recovery

Ross:

time or was there encouragement to take breaks and recover?

Chris:

Yeah, I mean, I think I didn't have a reference point then, and, and I

Chris:

think I look back and think how adaptable, you know, dancers are in that sense.

Chris:

It's a lot of pressure, to deal with.

Chris:

And it's also, you know, it's hard to evaluate yourself and take on

Chris:

other people's evaluations of you in a work and performance context

Chris:

when the art form is so subjective.

Chris:

So you could hear very differing opinions about what you're doing,

Chris:

both from other people and then also inside yourself, depending on

Chris:

whether it's a good day or a bad day.

Chris:

and I think definitely early on in my career, I didn't pay

Chris:

much attention to recovery.

Chris:

It's probably a blessing of youth.

Chris:

You just keep, you you have this sort of unending, amount of energy for it.

Chris:

but yeah, the schedule, the schedule doesn't allow heaps of time.

Chris:

I think it's definitely, the culture has definitely improved, since I was starting

Chris:

out now in terms of building in that recovery time, 'cause it is so crucial.

Ross:

Is it possible to say where the dancer ended and you began in that

Ross:

time at the Birmingham Royal Ballet?

Chris:

Yeah, it's a great question.

Chris:

I mean, I think at that time early on in my career It was

Chris:

very dance focused for me.

Chris:

I was really living and breathing work.

Chris:

we were touring all the time, performing all the time.

Chris:

I have made some wonderful friends in that experience, and it was quite a

Chris:

unique, little ecosystem that we had.

Chris:

But I think what I noticed and why I ended up moving to Australia was it shifted for

Chris:

me in my last year that I spent at BRB.

Chris:

I was getting great opportunities, but I noticed that I was

Chris:

just feeling a bit flat.

Chris:

and I wanted to be enjoying them more and living them more, and I just wasn't.

Chris:

And I, I realized that, there was this gap where I was, my life

Chris:

was just work and dance yeah.

Chris:

And I missed, I missed my family.

Chris:

I missed having some time to get away from it.

Chris:

So it sort of naturally led me to make the decision to move back to Australia to

Chris:

join the Australian Ballet at that time

Ross:

Chris, that feels like quite a transition, that listening

Ross:

to something inside of you and that move back to Australia.

Chris:

Mhm

Ross:

Now, I know there was another major turning point for you, and

Ross:

that was the, the loss of your mum.

Ross:

I wonder if you wouldn't mind talking about that please?

Chris:

Yeah, for sure.

Chris:

so the lead up to that, I'd, I'd been in the Australian Ballet,

Chris:

nearly 10 years, I think, by that point, and had had a great time.

Chris:

It was a wonderful company for me.

Chris:

and yeah, but then, then my mom died very suddenly.

Chris:

It was, uh, very shocking, very traumatic, right at a time in my career

Chris:

when things were really, really busy.

Chris:

I had some great opportunities.

Chris:

So yeah, it was a real, it was a real blindside for me.

Chris:

And as you know, when people describe sort of grief coming in waves,

Chris:

I still think about that often.

Chris:

it is a very apt description of it.

Chris:

And in that acute phase, the waves are just constant, but they're

Chris:

invisible to most people around you.

Chris:

I think it was one of the hardest experiences of my life being in a

Chris:

performance environment and just getting knocked constantly by these waves and

Chris:

trying to show up in the way that I wanted to, and that was sort of asked of

Chris:

me to be, you know, strong and reliable and, and a performer through that.

Chris:

It was, it was incredibly, incredibly difficult.

Chris:

And it, it Yeah, there was a seismic shift in my relationship

Chris:

to myself and my relationship to work through that experience

Ross:

Thank you, Chris.

Ross:

And did this coincide with you also starting to think about retirement?

Chris:

Like I was saying earlier about sort of the, the challenge of

Chris:

trying to evaluate yourself and your progress in such a subjective world,

Chris:

that does make the question of like when to wrap up challenging, and I

Chris:

think I had, I had thought about it, probably around that time as well.

Chris:

I mean, as grief does, you feel it in your body.

Chris:

I was in a lot of physical pain intermittently.

Chris:

I was really-- I had a couple of injuries that popped up at that time, predictably.

Chris:

but I did end up dancing for another four years after that, I think.

Chris:

and I think a big part of that, which I, I feel like I should mention, is the people

Chris:

that I was dancing with at the time.

Chris:

I was very lucky to have some really close friendships and close

Chris:

partnerships with the ballerinas that I was dancing with quite regularly.

Chris:

and I do think there's something incredibly powerful in the alchemy of sort

Chris:

of connecting energy with another person, which we had the privilege to do through

Chris:

dancing and in such a sort of tactile way, when you're doing a pas de deux.

Chris:

So I think that was, that was really life-giving for me and, and

Chris:

it would've been really easy for me to tap out, I think, because of

Chris:

how challenging the, the grief was.

Chris:

But I think that really pulled me through it.

Chris:

and so I'm so grateful.

Chris:

I'm so grateful for that,

Chris:

I think looking back

Chris:

I guess why I want to highlight that connection I had with those ballerinas

Chris:

I was working with at the time is that I certainly notice in myself, and I've heard

Chris:

a lot of other people say similar things, where when you're in a lot of pain, it's

Chris:

all too easy to turn away or turn inward and, I guess wanna conceal it in some way.

Chris:

and really, I'm so grateful for the trust that those women that I was working with

Chris:

gave me because I certainly felt there were times when I was at work and I

Chris:

just felt like an absolute shell, and, like, weak and broken and terrible.

Chris:

but they trusted me to do the job, and I'd obviously practiced for a long

Chris:

time, so my body could show up and do it and, um, it was their trust and

Chris:

the connection and that shared energy

Chris:

that really pulled me through that incredibly difficult time.

Ross:

you, Chris.

Ross:

And it's interesting for me as an outsider, to think about those energy

Ross:

flows and also the, the awareness that's in that ballet ecosystem of knowing that

Ross:

someone is perhaps suffering, identifying that, and doing something about it.

Ross:

It feels like something we might miss in our non-ballet organizations, that

Ross:

and that awareness and that preparedness to support others and transmit energy

Chris:

Hmm.

Chris:

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Chris:

I mean, I think those people that I was working with closely really saw me.

Chris:

in that moment, maybe that is quite unique in that we were, you

Chris:

know, dancing through it together.

Chris:

And I guess grief is something that I, I actually feel really happy to talk

Chris:

about because like you sort of alluded to, there's, there's definitely gaps

Chris:

in how we manage it, or live through it in, in a Western world sort of context.

Chris:

There's, I think there's a real fear of talking about it and, it

Chris:

does bring up uncomfortable sort of feelings around mortality, but I think

Chris:

bigger picture, you know, like even the company and the organization,

Chris:

naturally people can't remember every day, and that's, that's fine.

Chris:

Like, it's not a, it's not a realistic expectation to have.

Chris:

But I think talking about grief more often and, and particularly in the

Chris:

context of environments that you're spending a lot of time in, like a

Chris:

workplace, feels really important.

Chris:

especially in a Western world context where there's maybe not the same

Chris:

amount of ritual or, means of, of living through it in a more open

Chris:

and connected and communal way.

Chris:

And I guess, I feel really fortunate to have, even though it was very hard on

Chris:

a lot of days to, to dance through it, and I think there's a lot of research

Chris:

around dancing being such a positive thing for your nervous system and to help

Chris:

regulate, to move through various states of emotional and physical awareness.

Chris:

So yeah, I think it, I was lucky in a way that I could dance through it

Chris:

and that I managed to get through some of those injuries and keep going.

Ross:

And, and what was the point where you thought, "Right, now I'm retiring"?

Chris:

I mean, I probably had that thought on a couple of

Chris:

tough mornings over the years.

Chris:

but I did have a bit of a full circle moment.

Chris:

I mean, going through that experience of losing mom definitely strengthened

Chris:

boundaries for me, around what I needed and, and I think my life had

Chris:

expanded outside of ballet as well.

Chris:

I met my partner and I wanted to be more present with my, my dad, and my family.

Chris:

So there was a few things that were sort of moving me towards that.

Chris:

But I did, in my sort of penultimate year, I had the privilege of

Chris:

dancing Romeo in Romeo and Juliet.

Chris:

and it was really a dream fulfilled moment, having, you know, watched

Chris:

it all those years ago on that VHS.

Chris:

and I remember standing on stage before the first performance, and it's such a

Chris:

beautiful moment I think, in theater when, you know, just before things are about

Chris:

to start and you can hear the orchestra tuning and people are warming up.

Chris:

there's a bit of excited chatter backstage and Romeo starts on stage

Chris:

with your cape and you, you're sort of having a, you have a solo sort of…

Chris:

You have a quiet moment there wh-whilst everyone else is backstage, And I,

Chris:

I remember thinking to myself that I just had this feeling this is probably

Chris:

the last story ballet that I'll do.

Chris:

and it was funny.

Chris:

It, it wasn't like a, it wasn't premeditated, it just came to me.

Chris:

And and I think from that point, I think I just felt like I've done

Chris:

what I wanted to do in this career.

Chris:

Like I've, I've really been so fortunate with the opportunities

Chris:

that I've had and this is a beautiful sort of peak opportunity for me

Chris:

and, and I think I'm actually ready to start thinking about this.

Chris:

So

Chris:

It felt like getting to that point to do Romeo was this, the top

Chris:

of the mountain for me, I think.

Chris:

And it just felt, from there it felt easier to think about

Chris:

the reality of, of moving on.

Chris:

That's not to say there wasn't plenty of rumination in the, you know,

Chris:

in the years leading up to that.

Chris:

I definitely had some, some times where I was really thinking about it, and

Chris:

we had COVID obviously, where we were all, you know, off stage for a year.

Chris:

And that maybe was a bit of a good road test of like living without dance.

Chris:

Um, I think I did come out of that feeling like, oh, I don't feel

Chris:

as maybe sad about not doing it every day as I thought I would.

Chris:

but then inevitably life complicates things and I was about to do my

Chris:

last few performances of that year, had a quite a severe injury.

Chris:

Had to go and get surgery, and then rehab.

Chris:

So I did, I rehabbed and then did a couple more seasons and then I finished.

Chris:

But yeah, it's never, it's never a smooth, smooth road.

Ross:

Hmm.

Ross:

And as you looked to the future from this emerging retirement decision,

Ross:

did you have any idea what was next?

Chris:

Well, I guess that brings me to psychology, 'cause I was studying.

Chris:

I'd been studying for the last few years while I was still

Chris:

performing, via distance.

Chris:

And a couple of things I think brought me to psychology.

Chris:

Probably first was a book that my parents gave me, called "The Road

Chris:

Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck.

Chris:

I'm sure you've probably read that.

Chris:

Um, still such a great book, But that definitely helped me in my, in my career,

Chris:

I think, in, in building perspective and understanding around, you know, mindset

Chris:

and the psychology of living a good life.

Chris:

but then I was doing an arts degree, principally to tr- to try a bunch of

Chris:

different things to see what I'd be interested in, and I did a psychology

Chris:

elective, and it was very science-heavy.

Chris:

But I actually did really well in it, and a lot better than some of my art subjects.

Chris:

So I just followed that and ended up changing my major.

Chris:

And by the time I finished dancing I had, I think I had one more semester

Chris:

of uni to finish my bachelor degree.

Chris:

So I knew that that was what I was gonna do on retirement.

Chris:

And in that sense, that made the step a bit easier because I had this very

Chris:

structured, path ahead of me to, to finish uni and got a part-time job

Chris:

and, and just sort of leaned into that

Ross:

And when you started to look at your ballet career of in the rear view mirror

Chris:

Yeah.

Ross:

with this new knowledge and insights from psychology, is there, is

Ross:

there anything that stood out for you?

Chris:

Yeah, so studying perfectionism at one point in my degree was

Chris:

really interesting and really resonated, particularly, um, this

Chris:

model that was developed by Hewitt and Flett, that's sort of the

Chris:

multidimensional model of perfectionism.

Chris:

And that, that really rang true and I think it's interesting looking back now

Chris:

at the ballet environment where that, that model sort of breaks perfectionism

Chris:

up into self, other, and social.

Chris:

Uh, where it's, you know, you're, you're wanting to be perfect for

Chris:

yourself, and then wanting others to be perfect for you, and then feeling

Chris:

pressure socially to be perfect.

Chris:

And I think being able to sort of kind of just extrapolate those

Chris:

pieces a little bit and see it, it helps you see it a bit more clearly.

Chris:

And I, I do reflect back on times when I was being incredibly hard on myself.

Chris:

I was-- had really high expectations of the people that were coaching me

Chris:

because I wanted to do well, and then also feeling this kind of, you know,

Chris:

the cu- the broader sort of cultural, uh, I don't know if I… I mean, I guess

Chris:

it is pressure, like to, to attain this sort of level of, excellence in ballet.

Chris:

I feel like that would be very common for a lot of people and

Chris:

it's a genuine challenge, again, because of that subjectivity of art.

Chris:

So you've got people experiencing these sort of perfectionist tendencies and

Chris:

then there's the subjectivity as well, so everyone's got a different version

Chris:

of what that sort of excellence is.

Chris:

So it was really interesting to reflect on that and, and still in,

Chris:

in my work now with other people too, especially in high-performing fields

Ross:

what is this new emerging chapter like at the moment?

Chris:

Yeah, so it's b- it's a bit of a mixed bag, but I, I did my

Chris:

research year in psychology and I also did a coaching certification.

Chris:

So I'm working in a coaching capacity one-to-one with people.

Chris:

I also do, psychometric delivery of a, tool called Spotlight that was

Chris:

developed by this great team in the UK it's actually being, it's being used by

Chris:

a lot of really interesting groups now and it's all about sort of improving

Chris:

individual and team performance.

Chris:

A lot of the Premier League teams are using it at the moment, so that's, that's

Chris:

been really exciting and I, I still think for me it's such a great model and, and

Chris:

way of understanding mindset and behavior that synthesizes so many interesting

Chris:

aspects of, um, of psychological research.

Chris:

and I'm also working part-time for Dancers' Career Development in the

Chris:

UK, which is a great charity, that helps dancers, both in companies

Chris:

and freelance, with all things to do with their ongoing personal

Chris:

development, education and transition, out of dance for when they're ready.

Ross:

like there's a lovely portfolio developing here

Chris:

Yeah, yeah.

Chris:

It's been a process to get there.

Chris:

I'm really enjoying the multifaceted nature of it, and yeah, it's just

Chris:

wonderful to feel like I can put my experience to work and be of service

Chris:

to other people, in a world that, you know, has given me so much.

Chris:

So I'm, yeah, It's a lovely full circle moment for me

Ross:

Chris, I'd like to ask you for your song choice.

Ross:

This would announce your arrival in a room, and it's not forever.

Ross:

It's for the next maybe two or three months.

Ross:

Can you tell me what your song choice is and, and why you chose it?

Chris:

Yeah, so this was a tough question, but I think, uh, for

Chris:

more recently, the song I've chosen is Aperture by Harry Styles.

Chris:

And I am a relatively new fan, having had the chance to see him live in London.

Chris:

We went mostly to see Shania, who was his supporting act, and she was amazing,

Chris:

predictably, but Harry was a, um, he's, he's the real deal, and the, the song

Chris:

is really fun, and it's a great message.

Chris:

So I'm gonna go with that for now.

Ross:

So, so Chris, do you have a, a takeaway for the P supers to reflect on?

Chris:

Yeah, so something I've been thinking about a lot lately is the

Chris:

concepts of practice and performance, and I think it's worth a conversation Thinking

Chris:

about practice as not just a preparation to get from A to B. as a dancer, you

Chris:

show up every day to the barre to do your ballet class, and the context is

Chris:

always shifting, internal and external.

Chris:

So your body might be aching in a different place than it was yesterday.

Chris:

Your thoughts and feelings, you know, one day you're super motivated,

Chris:

the next day you might be exhausted and just not feeling like it.

Chris:

And then, you know, your schedule, the demands externally always shifting.

Chris:

But there was just this daily negotiation with yourself as

Chris:

you engage in this practice, and a commitment to engage in it.

Chris:

And that that in itself makes the practice a daily process of

Chris:

transformation, and that over time, that is transforming who you are as a

Chris:

person, as an artist, as a worker And then I think the link to performance is

Chris:

that high performance can sort of sound like this big sort of grandiose term,

Chris:

and it does get thrown around a lot.

Chris:

But I think at its core, to me, high performance is that commitment daily

Chris:

to that practice or in whatever it is, and making steps towards the way

Chris:

you wanna show up to the challenge

Chris:

I think the follow on to that thought is that as a dancer or an athlete,

Chris:

you know, you have the benefit of an, of an environment and a schedule

Chris:

that sets you up to do that practice.

Chris:

And I think that I'm happy that there's more conversations around this now in

Chris:

society and in organizations, and I think there's so much potential there for us all

Chris:

to find ways of having a daily practice that helps ground us and feel clear in

Chris:

our direction and that's something I've had to find for myself now out of ballet.

Chris:

It's, it's been a real reckoning for me and a process and, and ongoing.

Chris:

it's definitely not as easy as it was when it was all set out for me in my schedule.

Chris:

I have to do it myself now.

Chris:

So I really, I think about, you know, freelance artists and people

Chris:

who are working on their own.

Chris:

It's such a incredible testament to their discipline and that

Chris:

commitment that we talked about.

Chris:

And I think that is inspiring to me in how I, how I wanna frame

Chris:

practice and performance for myself now beyond the stage.

Chris:

Is

Ross:

thanks so much for that takeaway and your willingness to

Ross:

join me and speak about your career in such an open and powerful way.

Ross:

I really appreciate it

Chris:

Thanks, Ross.

Chris:

I really appreciate the opportunity, and it was great to have this conversation

Ross:

Hey supers, that's it.

Ross:

My conversation with Chris Rogers Wilson in the bag.

Ross:

Two things struck me most.

Ross:

First, the importance of connection in the workplace, particularly when we're dealing

Ross:

with human challenges such as grief.

Ross:

And second, Chris's description of the relationship between practice

Ross:

and performance and those small repeated choices we make along

Ross:

the way You can find People Soup wherever you listen to podcasts.

Ross:

And if this episode made you think, please share it with

Ross:

someone who might find it useful.

Ross:

As ever, thanks for listening and thanks for sharing People Soup with others.

Ross:

You're helping us bring real conversations about work, leadership,

Ross:

and being human to more people.

Ross:

Until next time, look after yourselves, Peace Soupers, and bye for now.

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About the Podcast

People Soup
Real conversations about work, leadership and being human.
Grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

The name People Soup comes from a quote by Abraham Maslow:

"A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting."

I've always loved that idea because creativity isn't confined to art. It shows up in how we live, work, lead and relate to one another.

Work often feels like a soup: a rich, sometimes bewildering mix of people, personalities, decisions, pressures, relationships and unexpected challenges. Every day we're trying to make sense of the ingredients in front of us.

Behavioural science doesn't make work simple, but it does give us better ways of responding to complexity. It offers practical ideas, evidence-based tools and skills that help us respond more effectively—to ourselves, to other people and to the situations we face.

That's what People Soup is all about.

Whether it's a conversation with a guest or a short solo episode, People Soup explores how behavioural science—and particularly Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)—can help us lead and work with greater intention, developing the psychological flexibility and practical wisdom to navigate whatever life throws our way.

About your host

Profile picture for Ross McIntosh

Ross McIntosh

I'm Ross McIntosh, a business psychologist, coach and facilitator, with over 30 years' experience helping people thrive at work.

People Soup grew from a simple belief: work is an important part of life, but it doesn't have to come at the expense of our wellbeing, our relationships or our values.

Each episode explores the realities of work, leadership and being human through the lens of behavioural science. Sometimes that's a conversation with an inspiring guest. Sometimes it's a short "Quick Spoon" offering a practical idea you can put into practice straight away.

My work is grounded in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), an evidence-based approach that helps people develop psychological flexibility: the ability to stay purposeful, adaptable and effective, even when life gets messy.

Whether you're leading a team, supporting others, or simply trying to navigate the pressures of modern work, my hope is that People Soup gives you practical tools, fresh perspectives and the confidence to take your next meaningful step.

A few things about me
Chartered Fellow of the CIPD.
Fellow of the Association for Coaching.
Research collaborator with City St George's, University of London.
Speaker, facilitator and leadership development consultant.
Founder and Host of the People Soup podcast.

When I'm not recording the podcast or working with clients, you'll usually find me reading, cycling, improving my Spanish, or enjoying life in southern Spain with my husband.