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Episode 57

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Published on:

9th Sep 2026

Quick Spoon - What if you spoke to yourself like a friend?

When something goes wrong, it's easy to add another layer of difficulty by being hard on ourselves.

What's wrong with me?

I should be able to handle this.

Why can't I cope?

In this People Soup Quick Spoon, Dr Amanda Super recalls a nurse telling her:

“You're being very hard on yourself.”

That comment helped Amanda discover self-compassion — and it got me thinking about how differently we sometimes speak to ourselves compared with the way we'd speak to someone we care about.

So here's something to try:

Imagine a close friend is in the same situation as you.

What would you say to them?

How would you speak to them?

What tone would you use?

And then ask yourself:

What would it be like to speak to myself in the same way?

A small exercise — but potentially a useful way to notice how we treat ourselves when things get difficult.

This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Amanda Super about self-compassion, ambition, boundaries and being human at work.

Listen to the full conversation on People Soup.

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.

Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.

Here's the People Soup Website.

And you can subscribe to the People Soup YouTube Channel here.

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.

Transcript

QS1 - What if you spoke to yourself like a friend?

[:

[00:00:15] You know, have you ever read anything about self-compassion?" And I thought, "Do you know, I'm [00:00:20] sure I've got a book called Self-Compassion on my bookshelf," but of course I'd never made time to read it, had I, Ross?

[:

[00:00:38] Ross: In this clip, Dr. [00:00:40] Amanda Super recalls something a nurse said to her during a very difficult time

[:

[00:00:47] She was worried about her young family as [00:00:50] well as her clients and her work

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[00:00:57] And I think that's worth noticing

[:

[00:01:11] Or, "I should be able to handle this."

[:

[00:01:27] Take a moment to write down. What would you say [00:01:30] to them? How would you speak to them? What tone would you use

[:

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About the Podcast

People Soup
Real conversations about work, leadership and being human.
Grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

The name People Soup comes from a quote by Abraham Maslow:

"A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting."

I've always loved that idea because creativity isn't confined to art. It shows up in how we live, work, lead and relate to one another.

Work often feels like a soup: a rich, sometimes bewildering mix of people, personalities, decisions, pressures, relationships and unexpected challenges. Every day we're trying to make sense of the ingredients in front of us.

Behavioural science doesn't make work simple, but it does give us better ways of responding to complexity. It offers practical ideas, evidence-based tools and skills that help us respond more effectively—to ourselves, to other people and to the situations we face.

That's what People Soup is all about.

Whether it's a conversation with a guest or a short solo episode, People Soup explores how behavioural science—and particularly Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)—can help us lead and work with greater intention, developing the psychological flexibility and practical wisdom to navigate whatever life throws our way.

About your host

Profile picture for Ross McIntosh

Ross McIntosh

I'm Ross McIntosh, a business psychologist, coach and facilitator, with over 30 years' experience helping people thrive at work.

People Soup grew from a simple belief: work is an important part of life, but it doesn't have to come at the expense of our wellbeing, our relationships or our values.

Each episode explores the realities of work, leadership and being human through the lens of behavioural science. Sometimes that's a conversation with an inspiring guest. Sometimes it's a short "Quick Spoon" offering a practical idea you can put into practice straight away.

My work is grounded in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), an evidence-based approach that helps people develop psychological flexibility: the ability to stay purposeful, adaptable and effective, even when life gets messy.

Whether you're leading a team, supporting others, or simply trying to navigate the pressures of modern work, my hope is that People Soup gives you practical tools, fresh perspectives and the confidence to take your next meaningful step.

A few things about me
Chartered Fellow of the CIPD.
Fellow of the Association for Coaching.
Research collaborator with City St George's, University of London.
Speaker, facilitator and leadership development consultant.
Founder and Host of the People Soup podcast.

When I'm not recording the podcast or working with clients, you'll usually find me reading, cycling, improving my Spanish, or enjoying life in southern Spain with my husband.